Moods

How often do you hear phrases such as the following?: “Stay away from Bill. He is in a bad mood.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I was so short yesterday, I was just in a bad mood.”

“Wow! Kathy is so much fun to be around today—she is in a great mood!”

These statements represent a common philosophy in modern society: the belief that people act the way they do because they are subject to moods that come and go.

Further, today’s culture—embracing the idea that moods actually define us—has segregated into subcultures based upon the moods people commonly experience. There is the “gothic” subculture for people who experience moods related to being “dark, mysterious and morbid.” There is the “emo” subculture for those who feel “depressed, rejected and outcast.” And there is the longstanding “punk” subculture for those who feel “rebellious, angry and individualistic.”

All these subcultures have one thing in common: They are ways of life defined by excessive wrong emotions!

But what about you? Even if you are not part of these subcultures, could you categorize the feelings you experience day-to-day as excessive?

Consider. If someone were to describe you, would it be by the character with which you make daily decisions—or the emotions you routinely display?

Needless Danger

Emotions are a normal part of everyday life. They make life more interesting, and are the most basic way of interacting with the world around us. We all experience them. Even young children display a wide range of emotions.

However, when people are told they are too emotional, most today will either disagree—believing that there is no such thing as “too emotional”—or accept it, but believe there is nothing they can do about it. When something they do not like happens, they lash out in anger and become bitter or even vengeful. Or they recoil in pain, depressed and sullen. Both reactions cause major problems in their lives. But, they reason, this is not their fault; it is the result of the mood they were in.

This mindset is nothing new. However, it does cause serious problems. Long ago, King Solomon wrote about the state of people who are ruled by their emotions: “He that has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls” (Prov. 25:28).

In other words, one is living dangerously if he allows his decisions and actions to be determined by moods. At any moment, a wrong emotion could negatively affect his entire life.

Further, Solomon wrote about those “who do not rule over their spirit.” This implies there are those who do “rule over their spirit.” In fact, he also wrote about the state of such people: “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit, than he that takes a city” (Prov. 16:32).

Consider. One is better than a great and mighty general who takes a city—the other might be destroyed at any moment. Quite a contrast!

But why are some able to control their moods—rule their attitudes and emotions—while others are not?

A Simple Cause

Most people are able to see the connection between events that occur in their lives and the moods they feel. When a setback occurs, such as losing a job or gaining weight, they take on a bad mood. When something they enjoy happens, such as a big social event, success in an endeavor or praise from their peers, they find themselves in a good mood. Seeing this connection, many conclude that moods are simply byproducts of recent events.

However, the key that most miss is that moods are not caused by the events—they are caused by your responses to the events—by what you think about them.

Realize that emotions are actually reflections of your thoughts, not the other way around. If you are angry, it is because you think that some injustice has occurred. If you are happy, it is because you are thinking about enjoyable things.

It follows then, if you are “in a bad mood,” it is because you have been thinking about things that upset you. If you are “in a good mood,” it is because you have been thinking about good things. There is no mystery to this.

If you know someone who is often angry, you do not need to wonder what the person is thinking. He is thinking about some injustice—perceived or real. If you know someone who is often sullen, you know the person is thinking about difficulties and how hard his life is. Again, if you see someone who is often happy, it is evident the individual is thinking about good events or how much he enjoys life.

A Simple Solution

Those who allow themselves to be ensnared by moods do so out of habit. They habitually think about things that upset them—and so they are often irritable. But like any bad habit, the solution is to stop doing it.

The real problem with a mood is that a person is emotionally reacting to his thoughts rather than responding with correct emotions toward what is actually happening.

With all this said, there is one emotion that you should be feeling most of the time. And similar to these wrong moods, it is based on what you are often thinking about.

However, this right “mood” is based on thinking the right things. God tells us how to do this: “Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things” (Phil. 4:8).

That is the solution, pure and simple. Actively think on the good things. The things that are true, just, honest, lovely—good. Remind yourself often of the blessings and wonderful things in your life.

This does not mean you should ignore bad events. Rather, they cannot be your main focus.

Display Right Emotions

Along with putting out wrong thoughts, you must also strive to put out wrong behavior. Part of taking control of your feelings and thoughts is taking control of the habitual moods that you express.

For example, if you are engaged in a light, friendly conversation, then your words should be spoken in a light, friendly tone, with enough enthusiasm to show that you are interested. Likewise, your posture, gestures, facial expressions, the way you walk and the way you carry yourself throughout the day should display positive enthusiasm for the activities in which you are involved. If you habitually slouch, stare at the floor or drag your feet, you will display an uninterested and “moody” attitude. While these habits are usually unintentional, the effects they have on your outlook, as well as your impression on others, are often negative.

Once you have learned to conquer moods and put yourself in the right mindset, the next step is to display the right emotions in any given circumstance. This involves overcoming habits and actively deciding how to act and think. You are the captain of your own ship. This means that you decide what kind of person you will be—and what kind of moods you will display!

To understand the importance of continually developing right emotions, read our article “Are You Emotionally Mature?”