How to Make Friends

Why does making new friends feel harder than it should be? Starting at a new school or joining a new group of people can be intimidating. You may worry about saying the wrong thing, not fitting in or simply being ignored.

Rejection is possible here, but so is the opportunity to make a life-changing connection.

Some people naturally attract friends, but for others making new friends is difficult. Walking up to someone you want to get to know better can be terrifying.

But making new friends does not have to be complicated. These relationships develop through shared moments and genuine connections made and remade over time. By following four simple steps—be present, show up often, invest time, and share experiences—you can build true friendships that will challenge you to grow, reflect God’s values and bring joy to your life. These steps are adapted from a book titled “The Like Switch.”

You can apply the friend-making process we will look at to befriend someone specific or when you see a person who needs a friend. We will also see what God says about this process in His Word. By the end, you will have the tools to make friends anywhere you go.

(1) Be Present

You cannot become friends with someone if you are never around them. Simply being in the same space—whether in person or online—increases the chances of connection. The best part? You do not have to start with a bold introduction or force a conversation. Just being present is enough for this first step.

Find out where the kind of person you want to befriend spends time and go there. If they are in your class, try sitting near them and join in conversation. If there is an activity at a social or at the Feast of Tabernacles, join in. If there is a video call, log on. It could mean joining a school club or a workout group at the gym. Even if you do not say much at first, being consistently present allows people to get used to you, making future conversations feel more natural.

If you are with your friends and you see someone new around, consider that they might be interested in joining your circle. Look out for such individuals and help make it easy for them to join you and your friends.

Of course, where you choose to be present matters. Surrounding yourself with the right people is just as important as showing up. Joining a group of people going camping or having a bonfire at the beach can be fun if their behavior is wholesome. But if they are gossiping, bullying or breaking rules, it is best to find another crowd.

The apostle Paul warned in I Corinthians 15:33, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’” (Berean Standard Bible). Who you spend time with will shape you, often in ways you do not even notice. If a friend does not share your values, over time, their choices and attitudes can wear down your resolve and influence your behavior. This is why it is so important to be present in the right places—with people who encourage you to grow into the best version of yourself.

If you find a group is not a good fit, do not stress about it. Just move on. Proverbs 12:26 says, “A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the ways of the wicked lead them astray” (BSB). It takes courage to recognize when a group is not right for you, but there is nothing stopping you from finding a new place to make friends.

(2) Show Up Often

Being present is a great start, but friendships grow through regular, natural interactions. The more often you are around, the easier it becomes for conversations to happen. Over time, people will recognize you as part of the group and eventually, either you or they will feel comfortable enough to talk more.

Showing up often does not mean hovering or being intrusive. Look for simple ways to stay involved such as attending as many activities as you can or messaging the group regularly.

Be careful not to overdo it. For example, if you are in a group chat, do not send way more messages than anyone else. If you send too many, you risk annoying people, and they may then avoid you. Instead, aim to add value to the conversation through humor or insight.

If someone trying to join your group is pushing too hard, show compassion. Pull them aside and gently let them know how others perceive their behavior. Some people may not pick up on social cues and could miss the subtle hints you and your friends give. Your kindness can help set the individual up for future success.

Remember, when you are joining an existing group, your goal is to make friends with everyone, not just one person. Avoid latching on to just one individual too soon. Instead, take time to develop a rapport with everyone. One-on-one friendships will come naturally in time.

Finally, showing up often requires you to be yourself. People can tell when someone is trying too hard to impress others or trying to fit in. As you become comfortable with the group, let them see who you really are. Authenticity builds stronger friendships than trying to be what you think others want.

Being present and showing up often are essential to building a friendship, but you must also do something else to make those friendships grow.

(3) Invest Time

Spending time together transforms casual acquaintances into real friendships. The more time you invest in someone, the better you will understand them, and the stronger your connection will become.

Would you feel closer to someone you see in passing a few times a day, or someone you spend an hour with once a week? While brief interactions can be nice, true friendships grow when you spend quality time together—where conversations go beyond small talk and you truly get to know one another.

Be on the lookout for places you can invest your time. Maybe you and your new friend can help each other study for a class, attend each other’s sports games or musical performances or join the same club. You may even find a passion for something you never knew existed.

The Bible teaches that what you put into something will come back to you. Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 11:1: “Cast your bread upon the waters: for you shall find it after many days.” When you invest in friendships by giving of yourself, you will see benefits such as deeper connections, shared experiences and mutual support.

The more time you spend with another person, the more chances you will have to find common ground. Maybe you both like the same music or movies, enjoy the same sport or share a love for animals. You will not know until you invest the time together searching for those commonalities.

Spending time together also builds trust, which is the foundation of any good relationship. Eventually, your new friend will show you more of who he or she really is, and you will feel comfortable doing the same.

Strong friendships are not built on short interactions. Investing time gives you space to laugh, learn and grow together, which turns casual connections into something enduring.

(4) Share Experiences

The final step in building a strong friendship is spending time together through shared activities. The more meaningful or engaging the experience, the faster and deeper your bond will grow.

Find activities you both enjoy or try something new together. You could learn to cook a dish, try out a sport, play a new board game, explore a hiking trail or watch a movie. The key is to spend time together in ways that create lasting memories. As long as the activity aligns with God’s Way, there are countless things you can do to have fun and grow closer.

Solomon advises us in Ecclesiastes 11:9: “Rejoice, O young man, in your youth; and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth, and walk in the ways of your heart, and in the sight of your eyes: but know you, that for all these things God will bring you into judgment.”

This verse should encourage you to enjoy the vigor and joys of your youth while remembering that God will eventually hold you accountable for your actions. If you choose your friends wisely, they will not push you to do things that go against your beliefs.

One of the most meaningful shared experiences is the simplest: just having a conversation. The more often you talk, the deeper your discussions become, giving you more opportunities to show love and support for your friend.

Not every activity will lend itself to conversation, and that is OK. Friendships can grow through shared intensity—whether it is the physical challenge of sports, the focus of working on an art project together or the excitement of playing a competitive game. What matters most is experiencing life side by side.

Putting It All Together

That’s it! You have everything you need to make new friends—now it is time to use it.

Many situations may lead you to seek new friendships. Perhaps your family is new to the Church, and you have not met anyone your age yet. Maybe you have recently changed schools and are finding it challenging to navigate the social dynamics. You might want to connect with someone at work or even reach out to someone sitting alone to help them feel more comfortable and included.

In each of these hides a little fear of rejection. Maybe the person sitting alone does not share your values. Perhaps the co-worker you hope to befriend turns out to be rude. Maybe the new person is wealthier and acts superior, or they have less and resent your perceived privileges.

It could also be that, after spending some time together, you realize you just are not compatible. Do not let this discourage you! When one friendship does not work out, move on and try again. If you consistently apply this four-step process, you will make new friends.

Ambassador Youth Camp is an ideal environment to practice what you have just learned. The planned activities naturally foster the formation of friendships. But do not stop after camp ends. Friendships require time and effort to grow. So keep in touch, plan video calls and invest in the connections you have made.

Do not forget the flip side to all of this. Whether you are at AYC, school, work or anywhere else, remember that it is just as difficult for others to join your circle of friends. Be on the lookout for those who are not fitting in and invite them to join you. They will greatly appreciate your effort to include them.

If you tend to be more of a wallflower, push yourself to get involved. It can be hard at first, but it gets easier!

The best way to approach someone is to ask them about something they are doing or that you have seen them do.

For example, if you see them taking many pictures, you could say, “I noticed you’re into photography. What kind of camera are you using?” This is a great chance to show interest in them. If you know something about photography or cameras, then it gives you some common ground to build on. If you do not, then it gives you a chance to let them shine with their experience.

Friendships are one of life’s greatest blessings, but they require effort, patience and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone. Making new friends is not about instant results. It is about building meaningful connections over time.

Do not fear rejection. It is a natural part of the process. Every experience teaches you something and brings you closer to finding the friendships that will enrich your life. Most importantly, be the kind of friend you would want to have: Someone who listens, supports and cares.

It is time to take the tools you have learned and put them into action. You never know how the next person you meet could impact your life—or how you might change theirs. Take the first step and watch how wonderful friendships unfold.