Dealing with Disappointment

Good afternoon. Echoing what’s been already said multiple times, it’s great to see always, here at headquarters, new faces joining us.

I want to start today’s message with a definition, and I’ll likely repeat it a couple of times for those who may be interested in writing it down. Definition is the following, sadness or displeasure caused by unfulfilled hopes and expectations in something or someone. I’ll read that again. “Sadness or displeasure caused by unfulfilled hopes and expectations in something or someone.”

Now, the word that meets that definition is disappointment. Have you ever been let down or dissatisfied by a product or service that you purchased; invested your hard-earned money in? That’s a disappointment. What about a movie that you rented or purchased or maybe paid thousands of dollars for the privilege of going to the movie theater nowadays and the movie turns out to be really bad, falls well short of any expectations that you had? That’s a disappointment.

Have you ever been disappointed by a dinner or a meal that you purchased at a restaurant, ordered at a restaurant? I’m sure you have. All of us have had a disappointment of some sort. If we think about it, we experience disappointments of all shapes and sizes every single day. If you just stop and think about it. Continuously, there are expectations that we have throughout the day that just aren’t met. Many of them are small ones, but some of them are large ones.

However, disappointments can go well beyond simple sadness or displeasure with a product or a movie or a dinner experience. There are also disappointments that can cause profound sorrow, bitterness, and even resentment. These generally happen when we place our hopes and expectations, not in something, but typically speaking in someone. Well, let me say this. I’m going to say this right at the outset. God needs each and every one of us to experience disappointments. Quite a bold statement. God needs us, each and every one of us to experience disappointment.

While disappointment’s going to produce temporary feelings of sadness, it can produce displeasure, it can even lead to intense sorrow, bitterness, and resentment, understanding and effectively dealing with every kind of disappointment, small or big, is crucial to our lives. And how we see disappointments... That’s another key one. How we see disappointments in the role they play in our lives is a great indicator of our emotional and spiritual maturity. Think about that. How we deal with disappointments can actually impact greatly our future.

So today we’re going to look at examples of disappointments that we can find in the Bible and learn how to better deal with them effectively in our lives. Now, why is this important? Why do we want to learn to deal with disappointment? Why would God require or expect or need us to experience disappointments in our lives? Let’s go to Micah chapter four to begin. Why would God want that? Micah Chapter four in verse one. One of those books, it’s hard to find is small and it’s tucked there in the Old Testament, I can still hear some pages.

Micah four verse one, “But in the last days, it shall come to pass, that the mountain of the house of the Lord shall be established in the top of the mountains, and it shall be exalted above the hills; and people shall flow onto it. And many nations shall come, and say, come, and let us go up to the Mountain of the Lord, and to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths: for the law shall go forth of Zion, and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem. And he shall judge among many people, and rebuke strong nations afar off; and they shall beat their swords into plowshares...”

Very familiar verses to all of us, “…and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up a sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore. But they shall sit every man under his vine and under his fig tree; and none shall make them afraid: for the mouth of the Lord of hosts has spoken it.” What a wonderful picture of a future not too far ahead of us. In verse five, we’ve read it name time, “For all people will walk everyone in the name of his god, and we will walk in the name of the Lord our God forever and ever.” Brethren, in the very near future, we will receive extraordinary authority and power in the kingdom, and that’s before this moment. We who are called to go first will be dealing with billions and billions of people.

And you know what that means? That means we will be responsible for billions of human beings who will all undoubtedly disappoint us and disappoint each other in the process. And if that’s not enough, at the millennium, at this moment that we’re reading here, we will become members of the God family, where people will walk in our names, and they will continue to disappoint one another and, at times, disappoint us. So how we deal with disappointments now is a measure of our readiness to handle the countless ones we will continue to face. That’s part of our calling, part of our future. And, again, if we think about it, there are disappointments that occur all the time, every day.

Most of them are small, some are larger, occasionally, at times, they’re seemingly unbearable to us, but dealing effectively with even the smallest disappointments, brethren, even the smallest ones are going to prepare us and help us to handle the bigger ones and those of other people. And it will qualify us for the eternal challenge when human beings will be walking in our names as we walk in the name of our lord God forever and ever. Now Christ taught a very powerful principle which applies not just to money, it applies also to how we manage or deal with disappointment in our lives.

Christ taught, he who is faithful in the least will be faithful in the much. And he who is unjust in the little or the least is also unjust in the much. If God sees that we can handle the smallest of disappointments, how much more will he want to hand over to us the vast number of disappointments in the future in our lives? So, if we want to understand disappointment and learn how to effectively deal with it in our lives, we must first recognize one important fact. No one has experienced more disappointments than God or Christ. No one. The list of disappointments that they’ve endured are innumerable. You might be part of that list if you think about it.

Take for example, what was likely the first. Now I can’t prove this, but it’s not a stretch that God expected Lucifer to be faithful, to fulfill his responsibility, the expectations that God had for him. God described him as the seal of perfection, full of wisdom, perfect in beauty, perfect in his ways from the day that he was created until iniquity was found in him. Lucifer turned evil, he sinned, he rebelled against God, he rebelled against God’s government; and he wasn’t alone. During that insurrection, one-third of the tens, hundreds of millions of angels followed him in that revolt. And have you ever stopped to think, and I was considering this, that God created each and every one of those millions and millions of angels, one by one, and he knew each and every one of them that rebelled by name. He cared for them just like he cared for all of creation, just like he cares about us. He cared about those angels who disappointed him.

Satan and his demons were also disappointed. But their displeasure came from failing to achieve their goal of ruling. So, they too had to deal with and still deal with disappointment. And how did, or how does Satan and his demons manage or deal with their disappointment? Let’s turn to Matthew eight because it ties right into us, brethren. Matthew chapter eight, and we will go all the way down and pick it up in verse twenty-eight, “And when Jesus came to the other side in the country of the Gergesenes, there he met two men possessed by demons, coming out of tombs, exceedingly fierce, so that no man might pass by that way, and they cried out saying, what have we to do with you, Jesus, son of God? have you come here to torment us before the time?”

Brethren, consider how disappointment continues to influence and fuel and drive the actions and reactions of even fallen angels. From the moment God created man, Satan, his demons have continuously sought to deceive us, to possess on occasions, human beings, to kill them and destroy every human life. Look at society today, and I want to make this personal because this is what disappointment can grow into. Satan and his demons hate everything about me, including my family. They hate my mother, who’s not in the church. They hate my dad, they hate my siblings, they hate their wives, they hate their children, my nieces, and nephews.

Brethren, Satan and his demons hate you and everything that you care about, hate your ancestors, hate your families as well, but they hate us, most of all. Why? Because he does not want us to become like God, he wants us to be like him. And Satan knows all too well the intense feelings that disappointment, if it goes unchecked, if it isn’t managed correctly, disappointment in our lives can produce bitterness and anger and wrath, feelings of wanting to retaliate, revenge. He wants disappointment in our lives to cause these very same things, brethren, towards our families.

He wants you to garnish and hold and harbor bitterness and wrath and anger against your family. He wants us to hold all of those things against each other. He wants us to hold those feelings towards our own selves, individually, and most of all, he wants us to harbor those feelings of disappointment that have grown into these things against God. But all of that said, I go back to the one point that I made. God wants us to experience disappointment. Isn’t that strange? Because he wants to test us and see how we will deal with disappointment because it can grow if it’s not dealt with properly. Because as long as Satan and human beings exist, I’m going to let you in on a secret, disappointment will too. And the potential for bitterness, and anger, and wrath, they will always exist if Satan exists and if human beings exist.

So, let’s look at examples of disappointments and hopefully learn from how these individuals dealt with it. The first question, have you ever been disappointed by your own family? I see some faces, yes, nodding yes. Has a close family member turned his or her back on you, betrayed you, abandoned you? Is your marriage going through a rough patch, maybe failing because your unconverted spouse is giving you a hard time about the decisions you’ve made to follow God’s way?

Well, let’s consider a familiar example and look how this person dealt with one of the worst kinds of family disappointment. Let’s turn to Genesis thirty-seven. We’re going to talk about disappointments that come from family. Those are the ones that oftentimes will hurt incredibly, but God wants us to learn how to deal with them. Genesis thirty-seven and verse three. We know this story quite well. “Now Israel, Jacob, he loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colors.” Verse four, “And when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than them, they hated Joseph, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably to him.” And then adding to the issue, it says in verse eleven that “his brothers envied him.”

We know the story. Joseph heads out to find his brothers, who are tending to the father’s flock, and they find him in Dothan. He finds them all there. And this is where the plot to kill him is birthed. Think about that as a family disappointment. I can imagine my brother’s inviting me to a fourth of July party and the whole while I’m on my way, they’re plotting to kill me. It’s unimaginable. I’m just going to have a hot dog and a hamburger.

And it says here in verse eighteen, “And when they saw him afar off, even before he came near to them, they conspired to slay him.” Verse twenty, “Come now therefore, and let us slay him, and cast him into a pit, and we will say, an evil beast devoured him: and we shall see what will become of his dreams.” It’s an important point or important part of this verse that I’m going to address in a moment. But instead of killing them, they decided not to, and they were just going to cast them into the pit. They concluded, better if we just leave them to die.

Can you imagine what was running through Joseph’s mind at that moment when all his brothers laid hand on him? And they’re dragging him to the pit and he’s shouting because I know he’s not going to go quietly. “What are you doing? What have I done?” And they’re responding in kind, telling them everything he’s done, and why they hate him, and why they’re going to throw him in a pit. It’s an unimaginable scene. But as they were having second thoughts, they threw them in the pit. They’re sitting there, and they said, “You know what? Let’s sell them and make some money.” There’s a better idea. “Let’s not let him die, let’s make some money off of him.”

And so, before they could even execute that plan, it says here, Midianites merchants found him first, and they ended up selling him. And after eventually being sold to Potiphar, he was then falsely accused of sexual assault of his wife, and he was thrown in prison. Now talk about disappointments. Would you not agree that’s disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, all because of what his family did to him?

And we know eventually he is released. He interprets the dream of the king of Egypt’s chief butler, the chief baker. He interprets the dream of Pharaoh himself, and after all of these disappointments, after all of them, the Bible tells us now he was ready, now he was prepared for what God wanted him to do. God makes him the second-most powerful man in the land of Egypt. Arguably the most powerful nation on the planet at that time. No one had greater influence, power, and authority other than the Pharaoh. And you know what? Along come his brothers, and they’re trying to survive. Survive a famine that hit the land and their parents, the father Israel, his life is in jeopardy because of this.

Now, what is Joseph going to do? He has the influence and the power and the authority that would be needed to put him all to death. He was perfectly positioned for revenge, for retaliation. Did Joseph allow bitterness to grow out of that disappointment? Did he allow anger or wrath to emerge? Now that he’s sitting in that position looking at his brothers, the same ones that were tearing at him and throwing them in the pit, did he allow wrath and revenge grow in his heart?

Let’s turn to Genesis forty-five. Again, we’re reading scriptures that we know the end to, many of you’re thinking, I’ve already seen this movie, but I want to dive deeper into the thinking of Joseph. And verse one, “Joseph could no longer refrain himself before those that stood by him.” We know that there was a back and forth. They traveled back to their father Israel, Jacob, came back again. There was a plot, and all of that. We’re fast-forwarding now because we know that part of the story.

“And he shouts to everyone in that hall, everyone out and there stood no man with him while he made himself known to his brothers.” Verse two. “And he wept aloud.” His weeping was so loud that it says the Egyptians and the house of Pharaoh could hear him because of the weeping. And you can imagine, as we read verse four, with tears rolling down his cheeks, likely sobbing, struggling to get every word out of his mouth that he’s about to say. “He says, come near, I pray my brothers. And they approached. And he said, I am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. Now therefore don’t be grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that you sold me to this place hither two, for God sent me.”

This is what he did with his time. He didn’t allow anger and bitterness and revenge and wrath build up in his heart. He meditated on the disappointments and circumstances surrounding his life and he understood the dreams that he had a long time ago. It wasn’t for him to rule over his brothers. God had prepared this moment, allowed those circumstances to occur. It says here, “God sent me before you to preserve life, to help not just you but to help an entire people, Egyptians. That’s what I was dreaming about.”

And in verses fourteen and fifteen, we read that Joseph wept with Benjamin, kissed all his brothers, wept on them. And after that, his brothers, it says, talked with him. Brethren, I bring up this particular story because it hits personally home for me. And I know many of you know this, but I have five brothers, all of which, in some way or another have questioned me and my decision and my commitment to God’s way. I have been left out of activities over the past ten years, decade, activities that I would’ve often been invited to and joyfully participated in with them. And they do that because, in part, I’ve chosen to submit to God.

I’ve mentioned previously that my twin brother, and it wasn’t not many years ago that he started because my parents are in their eighties now and he wanted us all to have those final years with them. He plans fourth of July parties, the Houk family reunion right on Saturday. It doesn’t matter what day July fourth falls on. Could be a Sunday, could be a Monday, could be a Thursday. He knows, but Brethren, I’m not going to allow. I will not allow those feelings of disappointment, occasional sadness, displeasure, I will not let them grow into bitterness or anger or wrath, or feelings of resentment or retaliation because I know what’s at stake.

I feel disappointed. I’m sure you all can think of circumstances with families that you’ve had, but you understand what’s at stake as well. You have a dream, just like I have a dream. We have dreams just like other people around the world who were in God’s church have dreams. One day, those same family members may benefit from what we are doing now. Just like Joseph’s family did. And not just my brothers. My parents, my wife’s parents, her siblings, their husbands and wives, the wives of my brothers, again, our nieces and nephew, everyone that Satan hates, we know that they potentially could benefit one day if we hold the course, if we stay the course.

And we can ponder something beautiful. I don’t know if you’ve ever read it this way. We can ponder that one day we might be able to say to our families what Joseph told his brothers in verse seven. “And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance.” You know what? Those family disappointments, they kind of shrink really small, don’t they, real quickly when we think about it? Think about what’s on the horizon for them and how we’ll be able to help them overcome disappointments one day with clarity.

But you might be thinking that’s easier said than done, just dismissing the disappointments that can come from family members. You don’t know my family. Oh, if you only met my uncle Bob. We all have family members. We all have that uncle in the family, right? I need help. How can we effectively deal with those kinds of disappointments the families moving forward? Sure. That sets the stage of what I just read, but this first point, I want to tell you how to do it. How to effectively deal with disappointments that come from family. And this can apply to all the disappointments that we’ll cover today, but let’s turn to Matthew ten. Matthew ten. How can we effectively deal with disappointments from our family?

Matthew chapter ten and verse thirty-four. It’s a powerful point. “Think not that I had come to send peace on earth,” this is Christ speaking. “I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come,” and here’s his purpose, one of his missions, “to set a son at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loves his father and mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loves his children more than me is not worthy of me. And he that takes not his cross...” You can read elsewhere daily. You can include in that statement of bearing across disappointments, “...and follows after me is not worthy of me.”

Wow. That about covers it all regarding the burden of dealing with disappointments from our families, our loved ones. Brethren, the most effective way to begin preparing to deal with disappointments mentally and emotionally is to expect them. Anticipate them every day. Christ said he set families against one another. That means God planned them to happen. There’s no getting around it and he did not say some members of our households might be foes. No, he said some shall be our foes.

Remember what I said, God needs every one of us to experience disappointments. Why? To test how we will handle them. And some of the most difficult disappointments that we encounter are the ones that come from our families. I also said that how we see disappointments is one of the greatest indicators of our spiritual maturity. We have to see disappointments, particularly from families, from a different perspective. We should see dealing with family disappointments like Joseph did. It’s an opportunity to prove ourselves worthy of Christ. That’s what’s on the line here.

So, the most effective way to begin preparing to deal with disappointments is to expect them. Know that they’re going to happen. If you know they’re going to happen, you might just well learn to deal with it. Right? It’s almost an oxymoron that you’re saying, oh, it was so unexpected that they disappointed me like that. No, it’s actually biblical. Another way to deal disappointments from our family is to be comfortable with being thought of as a disappointment. Think about that. We have to be comfortable with being thought of as a disappointment by family. Members of my family see me in some ways as a disappointment. My mother, she finds it disappointing that I’m not still a Catholic. I’m a let you in on a secret. I never was. Don’t tell her that.

My brothers find me to be a disappointment because I miss important family endeavors. And there was a time you couldn’t separate the Houk boys. They see me as a disappointment. And the occasions that I do show up, I certainly don’t hang out and party with them like I used to. Besides, I wouldn’t anyways because I’m fifty-five and I’m too old. But they find that as a disappointment. You’re not like you were before. You know what, brethren? I’m comfortable with that and so should you. Don’t be upset, don’t get angry because your family sees you as a disappointment in some way, shape, or form because there’s a lot of positive things that they’d be willing to talk about me. A lot of good things that they would say about me. But at the core, there are many times that they see me as a disappointment.

I’m sure that happens with your families. And if they were to ask me, I would tell them in so many words. When I don’t meet their expectations, I’m a disappointment to them. You know what? I’m simply loving them, you, less than Christ so if you’re going to get angry at somebody, get angry at Christ because he told me to. I’m supposed to love you less and him more. And I can sum it up this way: If my parents were to ask me, I’d say, mom and dad, I got to tell you, I’d rather be a disappointment to you. I don’t want to be a disappointment to you, but I’d rather be a disappointment to you than a disappointment to God. Now what can they say against that?

Brethren, that’s how we have to think, that’s how we have to have the mentality, that’s how we have to see disappointments from family in our lives. But what does that look like in action? First Timothy chapter five. Because there’s action behind what I’m saying. Just not a mindset. We’ve got to live it out. First Timothy chapter five, verse eight, maybe you haven’t seen it in this light before. “But if any provide not for his own,” that’s interesting, “And especially for those of his own household, he denies the faith, and he’s worse than an infidel.”

Brethren, another way to deal with disappointments properly is to do right for family even when we are disappointed in them. It says here, “If any provide not for his own.” Well, what could that possibly mean? It must include parents, siblings, close family members because it goes on to clarify, especially my household. Now, I’m going to qualify this, the statement here, helping family members should never get in the way of supporting the Work, obeying God’s command to tithe, to give offerings, to give common. That’s where the line is drawn in terms of providing for my own, for my mom and dad, and if my brothers needed, or close family members needed. And certainly, I put first providing for my own, especially my own household.

Other than that, there’s not too many exceptions, just be wise about it. Just be wise about it. But it says we’re “worse than an infidel” if we don’t step in and help when there’s a need, and we’re in a position to do so. Again, with the conditions that I just mentioned. Consider Joseph’s example. He’s the example how he cared for the needs of his family. He had his own household, but he cared for the needs of his family, his father, his brothers, despite how they treated him. Joseph did not allow bitterness, anger or wrath to overcome him. Instead of revenge, he provided for his own.

Brethren, doing good is not subject to conditions other than the ones I just mentioned. We must do good to our families, even in the face of disappointment. Because if we don’t effectively deal with disappointments in our families now, how is it possible that we’re going to pass help in the future? That is what Satan wants between us and our families. Now, he wants division, and he wants vast numbers of families, later in the kingdom, to do the same, Christ prophesied.

The Satan just doesn’t want family members to kill brother against brother unto death, father’s against children unto death, children’s rising up unto death for their parents. He doesn’t just want people or family members killing other family members. He wants those who are killed because of them holding fast to the truth, he wants them to die in a state of bitterness and anger towards the individuals who killed them. He wants an absolute mess. That’s what people will be facing in the future, and it all starts with disappointments. We’re training now with our families to help other families later, that is dealing with disappointments in families.

Next, I started off with the first example by asking have you ever been disappointed by your own family? Let’s turn to Psalm fifty-five, for the next. Psalm fifty-five, and verse one, “Give ear to my prayer, O God, and hide not yourself from my supplication, attend to me, hear me. I mourn in my complaint.” I mourn, in my disappointment, “And I make a noise about it,” I’m not happy about it, “Because of the voice of the enemy, because of the oppression of the wicked. For they cast iniquity upon me, and in wrath, they hate me.”

Wait a second, my apologies. I must have forgotten the definition of disappointment. Let’s go back and read that, sadness and displeasure caused by unfulfilled hopes and expectations in something or someone. Wait a second. Why would King David be disappointed in his enemies? I mean, we’re smart enough to know that they’re meeting our expectations. If an enemy is coming against me, if he’s oppressing me, he’s absolutely meeting every expectation I have. So is that really a disappointment that he’s talking about?

Well, let’s continue reading verse four, “My heart is sore pained within me.” Certainly, it sounds like he’s disappointed. “And the terrors of death are falling upon me. Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me and horror has overwhelmed me.” Now, there’s no reason to doubt that King David was experiencing serious anguish here. It’s clear. He’s terrified, feelings of horror are overwhelming him, and I may be wrong about this all arising from disappointment, but we’re just going to keep reading here. Let’s see where this takes us. After he expresses how he just wants to escape it all, you can read it, he wants to be like a bird, a dove, and fly away, escape his enemies, their attacks, David feels so strongly that he asks God in verse nine to destroy and divide the tongues of his enemy, in other words, cut their tongues out.

Now, I think we know enough not to ask God for this kind of retribution because we know that God commands us to love our enemies, but again, hating is something we would expect from our enemies, so it doesn’t meet the definition. However, David was clearly experiencing great disappointment. How can we reconcile that? What was causing these intense feelings and a desire for retribution? Oh, here it is. Verse twelve.

“For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it.” No at all, if it were an enemy, I wouldn’t even be having necessarily this prayer. I can take that. That’s what I expect from enemies. “Neither was it he that hated me and did magnify himself against me, then I would have just kept myself at a distance from him.” That’s what we do with people who want to be our enemies. We just distance ourselves. I’ll just hide from them. No problem.

That is not what he was mourning about. That is not what was causing him sore pain in his heart. Verse thirteen, “But it was you, a man of my equal, my guide, and my acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together and walked to the house of God in company.” Now I can hear David’s cry. It was because of his own brothers and maybe sisters in the faith doing what he didn’t expect. They betrayed his relationship. Now I can ask the question like I asked earlier, have you ever been disappointed in someone in the Church?

Of course. Of course, we all have. We’ve all experienced that. What makes this kind of disappointment more difficult than the family disappointments that we experience? These are not planned by God. In fact, God rails against us doing that to one another, disappointing one another. He does not want that happening, but it happens nonetheless because he wouldn’t warn against it so much if it didn’t happen but again how we see these types of disappointments from each other, how we deal with them is more crucial than them actually happening because they are going to happen.

Anyone who says they’ve never happened to him is lying simply. Now, let me tell you what not to do when dealing with this kind of disappointment, disappointment amongst ourselves. Don’t ask God to destroy me or cut my tongue out if I disappoint you, okay? And I promise I won’t ask God to destroy you or cut your tongue out if you disappoint me. Deal? Deal. In fact, don’t even suggest the following, verse fifteen. “Let death seize them and let them not just go to hell but let them go to hell quickly for wickedness is in their dwellings and among them.”

Brethren, this is an extreme form of disappointment amongst brethren. We can’t even think that but David did. Think of those who betrayed and abandoned the Church. The most extreme form. Yes, they betrayed God, yes, they betrayed Christ, but yes, they betrayed us as well, and some of them continue to attack. How do we handle it? Because if we learn how to deal with the worst, we have a shot at handling the small ones amongst ourselves who stay the course, willing to continue. Let’s look at Christ. Let’s look at Him.

He was no exception to suffering and sorrow caused by the disappointment from His own. Let’s turn to Matthew twenty-six because there is a way to deal with the disappointments caused by or caused towards one another. Christ could have let sadness and displeasure develop into bitterness and anger and rage, and thoughts of retribution. He had plenty occasions to allow disappointments, continuous disappointments to grow into those kinds of things. He could have let that happen. Why? Because He was human also. He was God, but He was God in the flesh.

In Matthew twenty-six, we find Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. Verse forty-seven, “And while Christ was yet speaking…” to Peter and the disciples, “…lo. Judas, one of the twelve…” apostles who had been with him, “…came and with him a great multitude with swords and clubs.” That’s what that word means there. Imagine the scene. Starts to conjure up pictures, “From the chief priests and elders of the people. Now, Judas, who betrayed Him, gave them a sign saying, whomever I kiss, that same is He, hold Him fast.” Grab him quickly. “And directly he came to Jesus and said, Hail, master, and kissed Him.” Verse fifty. “And Jesus asked him, Friend, where are you come?” That’s it.

“They laid their hands on Jesus and took Him.” The list of disappointments, brethren, is going to grow with every sentence because I’m going to list them for you here momentarily. Verse fifty-one, “And behold one of them, which was with Jesus, stretched out his hand and drew his sword and struck a servant of the high priest and cut off his ear.” Now, if you were to read the account over in John, it’s revealed that it’s Simon Peter who did that. “And then Jesus said to him,” as He’s probably reattaching the ear to the servant of the high priest, He says to him, the following, “Put away your sword, for all who take the sword shall perish with the sword.

Do you think that I cannot now pray to my Father, and He shall presently give me more than,” not just twelve legions, “More than twelve legions of angels?” Continuing. Fifty-five, “In that same hour, Jesus said to the multitudes, are you come out against me as a thief with swords and clubs to take me? I sat daily with you teaching in the temple, and you laid no hold on me there. But all this was done that the Scriptures of the prophets might be fulfilled,” and when the disciples saw that He was not going to resist, send His angels with the power and authority that He could wield, what’d they do, they forsook Him and took off. They left Him and abandoned Him.

Now let’s go over the disappointments, the list of disappointments Christ endured in these few moments, and how He dealt with each of them. Judas, one of Christ’s apostles betrayed Him with a kiss as a signal to the mob. How did Christ deal with that disappointment? Mercy and kindness. Had you ever noticed or taken note of the fact that He addressed or referred to him as friend? Now I don’t know if Judas, in my book, if he did that to me, he would qualify as a friend. I like that word. I use that word quite often because I mean it, but when it comes to Judas, I don’t know. Mercy and kindness. It took that to be able to address him as friend in that moment and allow him to kiss him.

Peter used violence, despite being taught by Christ to offer his left cheek if he’s struck on the other cheek, and Peter didn’t even get slapped and he cut the ear off of the servant of the high priest. How did Christ respond? Humbleness and meekness because that’s what it would have taken, humbleness and meekness, not to unleash that kind of power that He had at His fingertips if you will. More than a dozen legions of angels, and it would have been done with the support of the Father. The multitude who listened to Christ teaching in the temple every day, they apprehended Him like a common criminal. Really?

How did Jesus react in the midst of disappointment from His fellow Jews? Long-suffering. And finally, every disciple forsook him and fled. What did Christ do in the case of all of them, including his disciples? Brethren, He forgave them. This is one of the most extraordinary displays of reacting or acting under an absolute onslaught of disappointments. Christ did not show bitterness, anger, wrath, or retaliation to any one of them. The question is, how would you have reacted or acted in that circumstances with that kind of power? The question is, how would I have reacted with that kind of power and authority?

Think back to Joseph. Think about Christ. Again, it’s easier said than done when we have disputes or disappointments amongst ourselves. I need help. My expectations and hopes are high for my fellow brethren in Christ, and when I’m disappointed by them, it hurts, but how do we effectively deal with it? Well, let’s recall the list. He dealt with these disappointments with mercy, kindness, humbleness, meekness, long-suffering, and forgiveness. Would God expect anything less? Let’s read Colossians three.

Let’s go to Colossians three to answer what should be a rhetorical question. Of course not. And verse twelve. “Put on therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies.” There it is. “Put on kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering.” There they are. “Forbearing one another and forgiving one another. If any man have a quarrel,” that word means, brethren, something to blame. If you have something to blame against any other in the church, if you have a disappointment that you need to express or you have felt from any other, even as Christ forgave you, so also do you.

Verse fourteen. “And above all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond, and let the peace of God rule in your hearts to the which you are also called in one body, and be thankful.” And we’ll refer back to this last statement a little bit later. There are three things that you can do to effectively deal with the disappointments that will occur amongst all of us. Number one, we have to remind ourselves regularly that anyone in this room, we heard it earlier, the person to your left, your right, in front of you, behind you, anyone who disappoints you in the church, you have to remind yourself regularly, every day, they’re holy and beloved just like you.

In other words, never develop the slightest holier-than-thou attitude or ever think that you are more special than any other, or I’m more special than any other, because when we do, when those disappointments occur, that’s when it goes from sadness or displeasure to bitterness, to anger, to wrath and thoughts of retaliation, when we think we’re better than the other. So, we remind ourselves regularly that we’re all considered holy and loved by God. Very simple.

That’s how he led off here to Colossians. Number two, get dressed every day. We put on clothes every day. Be sure you’re wearing the same things that Christ wore that evening in the garden. They were coming at Him constantly. We experience disappointments from one another all the time. God in flesh was merciful, kind, humble, meek, and long-suffering. We must be too. We must dress ourselves, put on those things all the time, for the small things and the big things. And did you notice this? I find this extraordinary just meditating, that Christ addressed every person who disappointed Him that night in the garden.

He left no one out. He talked to them specifically. and brethren, when we experience disappointment amongst ourselves, we have to too. We must. We must talk to one another we when it’s appropriate. We should talk to one another when we experience disappointment. It’s necessary at times, but we should do so clothed with these things. If I’m disappointed in you, I should be talking to you with these same things. If you’re talking to me or disappointed in me, you should be talking to me clothed with these same things. We have to wear it every day. That’s our protection. Just like the armor of God, we need to wear these things every single day. And thirdly, forbear and forgive. You know what forbear means? You just put up with it. I like that.

My dad used to say it when we get angry, Well, just put up with it. Just go put up with it. What are you going to do? What do you want me to do? Go learn to get along. Put up with one another. That’s what we have to do. That’s all. It’s that simple. Paul says it very plainly, and forgive quickly or it will grow. Disappointments will grow, feelings associated with it. Very simple, brethren. Now, that’s dealing with disappointments amongst ourselves and I can go on.

Have you ever been disappointed in yourself in the small and big matters alike? Luke twenty-two. Luke chapter twenty-two. Maybe you set an expectation for yourself physically to get healthier, maybe personally in terms of character traits or professionally in your career, you set an expectation or a hope for yourself. Maybe an interpersonal relationship with someone or those skills, you’re trying to develop that and you’re making it a focus of your life. Spiritual. Any area, we all will disappoint ourselves. We all will fall short of our own expectations, of our own hopes, and there’s no better examples, I think in the Bible than Apostles Peter and Paul.

Luke twenty-two and verse thirty-one. We’re reading in verse twenty-four that they were fighting among themselves about who should be considered the “GOAT,” The Greatest of All Times, and Christ rebukes them for each is thinking that they should be a “GOAT.” I would’ve let them be “GOAT.” Go ahead and be “GOATS.” And then suddenly, He turns to Peter, I find this interesting, who may have been a little bit too animated while supporting his candidate, himself.

Verse thirty-one, “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for you, that your faith not fail: and when you are converted...” He didn’t have the holy spirit yet. “Strengthen your brethren.” And Peter replied, “Lord, I’m ready to go with You both to prison and to death.” Pretty confident, wasn’t he? He set his expectations high. He had great hopes in his ability. He just considered himself one of the greatest of all time.

“I tell you, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day before you deny knowing me three times.” And if you go over to Luke, it records Peter adding and responding, “Though I die with You, still I will not deny You.” I’m just going to read verses sixty-one and two. Sixty-one and verse sixty-two, fast forwarding to that moment, “And the Lord turned, and looked at Peter.” That’s all it took. “And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, Before the cock crow, you shall deny me three times.” And Peter went out and wept bitterly. And it only took one look from the Lord.

Let’s go back to the definition one final time. Sorrow or resentment caused by unfulfilled hopes and expectations in something or someone. Peter was disappointed in himself, and he should’ve been. He denied Christ. He talked a big game, more confident or cocky than he should’ve been. Peter had already heard Christ declare, “Anyone who doesn’t confess me before the Father, I won’t confess him before the Father. Anyone who does not confess my name before man, I will not confess him before the Father.” He knew that. Brethren, we all fail even with God’s spirit, which Peter did not have.

We may not deny Christ with our words, but there are times when we can deny Christ in this way of life with our actions. Sometimes even with our words, but more often with our actions, and when we fail, the feelings of disappointment in ourselves can be the most painful. And it should be. It’s easy when somebody else disappoints us for us to be disappointed in that person, but it’s harder and it should be more painful when we fail ourselves, should be designed that way. Keeps us humble. But what can we do with that kind of disappointment?

Romans seven, Romans chapter seven. When we are disappointed in ourselves, not when we’re disappointed in family, not when we’re disappointed in others amongst us, with each other, but when we’re disappointed with ourselves. And I’m going to paraphrase just verses fifteen, nineteen, and twenty-four because the King James can make this a little bit wordy and confusing, but this is a powerful one when it comes to Paul. I said that he was a great example as well.

Verse fifteen. “I find myself doing what I do not allow for what I should be doing, I don’t do it. And what I hate doing, that’s what I do.” Verse nineteen, “For the good that I should be doing, I don’t do it. And the evil I would dare not commit, that’s what I end up doing.” Verse twenty-four, the culmination of those thoughts, “O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” Brethren, we can sense if you read it that way, the profound disappointment that the Apostle Paul had in himself and he had God’s spirit, unlike Peter in the other account. He was converted.

How we handled disappointment in ourselves as converted men and women, Spirit-led men and women is another powerful indicator of our emotional and spiritual maturity. So what do we do when we’re disappointed in ourselves? Well, number one, like Peter, let the sting of disappointment hit us like it hit him. Don’t be afraid to feel sad and sorrowful when you disappoint yourself, when you don’t meet your expectations relative to certain things. But it shouldn’t just stop there. Change, and in the case of sin, repent. Ask for God’s help or ask for God’s forgiveness when you fall short of your own expectations and your own hopes.

And then verse twenty-five, “I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.” That’s what he does. Remember in Colossians three, I said we’d visit that phrase again. Be thankful. One of the best ways to eliminate those feelings of disappointment when things have been settled, when the dust settles in our lives is to be thankful, because if God is merciful, if he’s kind and long-suffering with us, if we believe he forebears us, puts up with us, and forgives us, and we’ve genuinely made a commitment to get back at it, be thankful. Because the more thankful you are, the less room there is for sadness and disappointment and bitterness towards ourselves.

Just be thankful. We’ve got another shot. Tomorrow’s another day. I’m going to get back at it because God does not want us reliving and wallowing in sorrow and beating ourselves up when it comes to disappointment, and some people are really bad at that. There are other people that aren’t hard enough on themselves, but there are people that are too hard on themselves. We’ve got to find that balance in our lives as sons and daughters of God. So, brethren, that’s the key. Let the sting of disappointment hit you. Ask God for help. Commit to change. Ask God for forgiveness. Stop sinning and be thankful. Get back at it.

The last type of disappointment, have you ever been disappointed by God? Now that’s a trick question because God does not disappoint, never has, never will. The correct question is, have you ever been disappointed in God? And the honest answer is yes, because if you tell me you’ve never felt disappointed in God because you can’t be disappointed by God, then you’re a bigger man or a woman than some of the Bible greats. You’re certainly a bigger man or woman than I am.

Let’s look at an example, Naomi. Let’s turn to Ruth. Ruth chapter one. We all have felt disappointment. After moving to Moab to escape a famine, Naomi faced greater disappointment and grief when her husband and two sons died and she returned to Bethlehem feeling bitter, feeling emptiness. Maybe she’s questioning why God would allow them, her husband and two sons to die. Brethren, we can ask questions in our lives. Why me? Why did this happen? Why are wonderful saints dying before the kingdom arrives? Why is the kingdom just taking a little bit longer?

We can feel disappointment, but God has never disappointed anyone. Ruth chapter one and verse twenty, “And she said to them…” she’s responding to those who were asking if she was Naomi. She had been away for a while and the entire city was moved by her situation. And here’s what she said. “Don’t call me Naomi...” You can hear the bitterness already in her voice, right? “Don’t you call me Naomi, call me Mara...” that word means bitter.

So, people were asking how she’s doing, she says, Don’t call me Naomi. You might as well just call me Mara, bitter. Why? “For the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full and the Lord has brought me home again empty. Why then call me Naomi? Seeing the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has afflicted me.” Naomi’s disappointment was so intense that she openly shared her feelings about God supposedly mistreating her, and let me tell you, brethren, that’s next-level stuff right there.

But we can all fall into that. We might not be as overt about it, but we can make comments to others openly inside the church, worse yet outside the church, questioning why God is treating you the way He is. We can all fall into that. Just because circumstances are real and feelings equally so, this does not mean that God is at fault. God never disappoints. I’ll say that again and again and again and we can learn from Naomi. What can we learn from her? Well, she finally stopped focusing on her own situation and she started helping Ruth with her disappointing situation, and that’s when things started to turn around.

That’s what we could find in chapters two and the latter part of three. Naomi is supporting Ruth, giving her advice about Boaz. When she stopped focusing on her situation, stopped complaining openly about what she thought God was doing in her life, and she started focusing on the disappointing situation of another person, oh, look what happens. Chapter four, verse thirteen. Let’s go over there. We know the story, but it’s worth reading because look at what happens when you change your focus.

Verse thirteen. “So Boaz took Ruth as his wife, and when he went into her, the Lord gave her conception and she bore a son. And the women said to Naomi,” the same women that she was complaining to, “Blessed be the Lord, which has not left you this day without a kinsman, that His name may be famous in Israel and He shall be to you a restorer of your life and a nourisher of your old age for your daughter-in-law who loves you and is better than seven sons has given birth to him. And Naomi took the child and laid it in her bosom and nursed him.”

She actually had outward concern for that child, “And the women her neighbors gave it a name, saying, There is a son born of Naomi; and they called his name Obed: He is the father of Jesse, brethren...” Brethren, “The father of King David.” Oh, if Ruth only would have understood God’s plan, she may not have complained so much and openly about her situation. Brethren, God wants us to understand that no matter the circumstances, the disappointments, He will not disappoint us, because He has a plan but a word of caution, and this speaks to spiritual maturity. We can find it easy to praise God after the fact.

After the situation gets better, after He delivers us from the disappointing circumstances, we can then go before God and say, We’re no longer disappointed in you, God. You did a great job. You got me out of this mess. Thank you very much. I’m not going to be angry at you anymore. I’m not going to be bitter towards you anymore. I’m going to be sad about the situation because you found it in yourself to fix my circumstances.” Brethren, it sounds ridiculous, right? Because it is. It absolutely is. Dealing with disappointment is something that we must learn, particularly when it comes to feelings of disappointment towards God.

Philippians chapter four and verse six. God wants us to be better than Naomi in terms of disappointments and situations that we can’t control. Verse six, “Be careful for...” it means be anxious about nothing, “But in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving...” there it is again, “Let your request be made known to God, and the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Verse eleven, “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned...”

Brethren, learning to manage or deal with disappointment must be learned, whether it’s your family, whether it’s each other, whether it’s disappointment in ourselves, or we feel disappointment towards God. We must learn how to deal with it. “In whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know how to be abased...” that’s disappointing, “And I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry...” That’s disappointing, “both to abound and to suffer need.” That also can be disappointing.

Brethren, there are circumstances that we cannot control, and we have no one to blame for it. We can’t blame our families. We can’t blame our friends. We can’t blame our boss. We can’t blame our spouses, our children. We have no one to blame. We can’t even blame God. God allows these circumstances to happen, and Paul said it’s for our learning and how to deal with disappointment.

Hebrews thirteen. David cried to God on an occasion, how long will you forget me O Lord? Forever? How long will you hide your face from me? But here we are reminded about being content and a promise very similar to what Christ told His disciples. Verse five, “Let our conduct be without covetousness; and be content with such things as we have: for he has said he will never leave us nor forsake us.”

Brethren, will we be self-centered and covet? Will we place our hopes and expectations in things and people of this world or are we going to place our hope in God, our expectations in God? Because it says He will never leave us nor forsake us. He will never disappoint us period. The final verse to drive this point home as we close. First Timothy chapter six, First Timothy six. We want to talk about mitigating a lot of unnecessary disappointments. In other words, keep them out of your life. Not experience a big chunk of disappointments at all in our lives. This is for the young people, the older people, everyone in between. Verse seven, a memory scripture, memory verse, “For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.”

If you want to avoid a lot of disappointments, just live by that verse. You started with nothing, guess what, you’re going to end up with nothing. The only thing will remain is your ability to deal with disappointment and God’s character, of course. So “…having food and raiment, let us be content.” In the previous verse, we said, be content with such things as we have. But it even narrows down even further when Paul’s talking to Timothy, particularly the ministry. Having food and raiment be content.

That’s a great way of avoiding any disappointment. If you’re not hoping and expecting anything beyond food and raiment, of course, a roof over our heads, boy, you’re setting yourself up for success and not being disappointed every day. If we look at verse ten, “For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some covet after, they erred from the faith, and pierce themselves through with many sorrows.” You could insert the word disappointments.

People who love money, people who covet in the church, that’s what he’s talking about, err from the faith. You know what they’re setting themselves up for? Continuous piercing of sorrows and disappointments in themselves, in others, et cetera. Brethren, here’s my final piece of advice. Lower your expectations and hopes in the things of this world, and raise your expectations and hopes in the things in heaven because desiring the things this world offers only leads to, as it says, many sorrows. Been there, done that.

Friends in this world will fail you, some will even betray you. They will betray your trust. Employment. You may not get a job you desperately wanted. You may lose it to someone who is less qualified for the wrong reasons. Maybe you don’t receive the promotion or raise you were hoping for to change your financial situation around. Perhaps someone did not do their part or fair share on a project or an event and left you more than just a little bit upset. All of these are disappointments and more. You can think of them yourself.

If we don’t learn to deal with disappointments, not just the ones we mentioned, we risk developing and harboring bitterness, anger, wrath, and a desire for revenge towards family, friends, each other, and even God. Brethren, the solution, set our affections, our hopes, and expectations on things above and deal with disappointment as God teaches in His word and help others through disappointing circumstances even if they disappoint you. Help others through difficult and disappointing circumstances, even if they consider you a disappointment. If we do these things, if we apply what we have learned, you know what I’m going to say, right? You will not be disappointed in the end.